The Voice of Layers

The Voice of Layers

I always wonder who is thinking for me and why I allow it …who is the puppeteer behind that conversation I just had? 

You may have the same conversations. It’s when I hear myself saying something that contradicts my core but I keep talking anyway. Hindsight always asks me: Was that my mother, father, aunt, uncle, distant 4^th cousin’s voice? Or was it a fear born one day when my heart was breaking? Then I wonder if it is the media advertisement campaigns or early influences from my peers. Sometimes I feel like a hijacked airplane, being taken off course in a direction I never wanted to go.

We all know the voice that creeps up and takes over our brain. It is not the voice of discernment or wisdom that reacts; it is the voice of fear and confusion. It is so easy to default to that state of mind.

I am learning that my core authentic voice cries to be heard in the silent moments I spend with my myself. We all keep silent our private thoughts our of fear, especially when we allow the outer world to give us our voice. We become blindly conditioned, personally contradicted. It takes compassion, patience, and conscious awareness to peel those layers away so we can find what is true and authentic for us personally.

Facing down those embarrassing moments have been a humbling experience, often achingly so.

In the darkness of those embarrassing moments, I often found wisdom. Not the kind of false wisdom that dismisses another person, minimizing my own responsibility in the event. But rather the kind of wisdom that pulls me from sleepwalking and keeps nudges me into awareness so I can dodge future dark alleys. 

Like layers of contact paper piled one upon another, it takes time to peel away that which smothers our authentic Self. I remember hearing a teacher suggest that instead of being against war, to be for peace; instead of warring against drugs, be for freedom that comes from self-care; instead of being at war with our spouse, our neighbor, our family, be compassionate toward their humanness. 

The real truth is that the outside world continually attempts to tell us how to think. I always wonder what might happen if I told the world who I am, rather than being defined by it. Change comes as I give my authentic Self a chance to speak. Perhaps that is the gift that fear and limitations can leave at the doorstep of our hearts and fodder for a changed and better world. 

Each of these gifts is our personal call to liberation. No greater wealth is found than when we discover the freedom that is sparked by a deeper sense of knowing who we really are. I wish everyone the opportunity to open those gifts that are meant specifically for you and you alone.

A choir of authentic voices carries its own melody…I do believe it is possible for us to sing in perfect harmony!