What does your voice say about change?

Ouch! Change is the most difficult thing we deal with in life and yet change is, without question, the only constant and dependable thing about life. We get fooled into thinking that things don't change. We drive our cars to work on the same roads everyday; we perhaps wake up in the same home every day; the sun comes up in the east every day and sets quietly into the west in the evening. Tides may come in, but dependably they go back out. But change...change happens every moment of every day of our lives, in the most minute of ways. We just don't see it.

That is what is so incredibly miraculous about change. It eventually makes itself known but it is constant, in the microchips of our daily life. Then one day we awaken and change hits us in the face and we wonder about it. We fight it. We cling to to what is familiar, even when it does not serve us. I remembering listening to my parents talk about the "good ole days" and completely missing the good days they were living in. We cannot fight change, anymore than we can fight growing from an infant into a child, into a mature adult. So why do we resist the idea of change so much? My resistance seems to come from the idea that by letting go to change might mean I was wrong, or might feel like defeat. Resisting change only made me ill. "This too shall pass," an ancient wisdom passed down by our ancestors, could be a mantra that would serve each of us.

Life is challenging enough without resisting what is natural about it. The events that cause change are built on small details, small events, and even smaller unconscious behaviors and decisions. I have realized that many of my own personal changes...to my health, my relationships, my environment...have all occurred over time. They didn't just show up one day. Many of the changes I have lived through would not have been so shockingly unnerving had I paid a little bit of attention or listened a little more closely...or followed my gut. Even before Mt.St. Helens erupted in 1980, the mountain gave warnings to the people who were paying attention. Sometimes we fight for change; sometimes we work hard for change; sometimes we fear change. We all get to choose how we face change. The question is: are you ready for it?

Bad News, No One Likes to Give it

I cannot believe I have not posted for as long as I have! Life has been scurrying along and time, like magic, became now! Only no magic, only choices and ... well life!! In the past couple of days I have been faced with the uncomfortable task of presenting information to people I care about who, I know, will not be happy about what they hear. It has to do with a departure, a moving, from one place to another. I have been horribly uncomfortable with the idea of it until I realized that my integrity and friendship with these wonderful friends meant more to me than any discomfort I was feeling. So, putting on my "big girl panties," I will get to my responsibility and honor these wonderful friends with my honesty and peaceful (understanding) acceptance of their responses.

My prayer for the past year and a half has been to be rooted in my integrity. To know what is right and to not allow myself the luxury of the chameleon. It is a mature approach to life that asks me to stand up and with the attitude of respect for all of life, simply be as honest as I can be, given any circumstance I face. It is so much easier to avoid or hide from the obvious but it is exhausting and steals from us our energy and eventually our health if we cannot be kindly honest and upfront with those we care about, or even those we do not find so compelling!! I am not speaking of opinion...I am speaking of disclosure. Admittedly, there are some things better left unsaid! But when life circumstances bring us passage or change, the news we deliver is received more by HOW we deliver it over WHAT.

We all, at some point in our lives, must accept the reactive opinion of others, even if it is hurtful. If what others perceive about our change dictates our willingness to change ourselves, we are left wanting for a life we are meant to live. We are all faced, at some point, with that uncomfortable "exit" interview...a boss, a lover, a spouse, a neighborhood, a club, a friend. Our personal life is like a book that is particular to us and it is not only our right to finish our own story, it is also our responsibility to do so. I finally came to the understanding that my decisions were for my soul, not to hurt another person or to dismantle someone's life. Perhaps an unyielding truth would be that we only honor another when we honor ourselves. If you are faced with a hard decision and even harder disclosure, I offer this as a point of reference. I wish for it to buoy your courage and your heart...

How's that voice of fear working for you?

If I mentioned the name "Wally Cox" to you, would you know who he was? If I said the name Martin Luther King to you, I am quite certain you would know who he was and his place in history. I don't think everyone is meant to be historically remembered by our global family. I mention these names to make a point...that unless a story is retold and retold, whether it be a person or an event or a wisdom, it becomes lost to those of us who live on. I believe that Truth is like that; that Self-Awareness and Mastery are like that. If the story of our personal Divinity is not told and retold, that too can be lost. I realized that is one of the reasons I began this forum...even if no one speaks up, it creates thought and therein all things are transformed.

So when I ask how your voice of fear is working for you, I want to challenge you as I have been challenged. Is your life working better by giving it the upper hand? Fear is a tough taskmaster. In its original form, it was meant as an intuition to help us avoid danger. Wandering about in a world of the wild when we lived with the wild was hazardous duty!! But it has developed into a phobia, a kind of mantra that chants to our subconscious and keeps us small. Like flour is the foundation of many breads and cakes, unknown or conscious fear is the foundation of many of our life's ills and limitations. It can sound like "You will never succeed at that." or it can sound like "All (men or women) are jerks." Judgments, resentments, assumptions, superiority...all these things are fear's agents.

I am paying attention to that voice when it comes up for me. It's sneaky little presence reminds me that I may still have some residual thought processes that are trying to keep me small, keep me victimized. I am grateful that irritating little tyrant cannot be quiet because it is helping me heal and disengage from its power. When I hear a voice that sounds like fear, I recognize it and gently dismiss it. It is not who I am. Marianne Willliamson tells us "there is nothing enlightened about shrinking so others will not feel insecure around you. We were born to manifest the Glory or God that is within us." Most fear is the tether that keeps the eagle from flight. I say, cut its hold on you and be all you can be.

Finding your Devotion

I don't know about you, but I am pretty good at sniffing out something I want. If it is a certain kind of food, I can find the source (whether restaurant or grocery store); if it is a certain outfit, I usually find it even if it takes tired feet on the pavement or tired fingers on the keyboard; if I am hooked on seeing a movie or a play, I can find my way to it. Regardless of what it is "out there" I am usually capable of sniffing it out, like a bloodhound! Once I am on the trail, WATCH OUT!

BUT...Finding my passion, my devotion has been more challenging. It has been a life long pursuit. It is not that it changed all that much. It was more, for me, trying to figure out what to do with my passions, with my devotion. I am coming to the awareness that perhaps they are not the same and yet they are interlinked and intertwined so intricately, it is hard to at first distinguish which one is which. I get asked all the time, "how do I find my passion?" or "how do I know what my purpose is?" I only know one way to find out what it is, how to find it, or to figure out what to do with it once you know. It is not hard, but it is not easy. It is simple, yet the most complex thing we do.

The only way I know to marry your passion, your purpose with your life is to find a path for your devotion. For me, it has been a life-long pursuit of figuring out my relationship with God. What that means to me is different than it is for you. How to incorporate that devotion into my everyday life is probably unique to me as it is to everyone. I don't believe it comes necessarily from a church, but certainly religion can help someone discover their devotion. In truth, I believe that making that connection to devotion comes when you are silent and you find time to be with the idea of the magnificence of God...or the Universe...or whatever you call that endless miracle of life.

I wish for everyone to find that devotion within, to make that connection that is neither self-indulgent or self-important. It is the "find" that humbles you for what you do not know, makes you kinder and more loving for the struggles of humankind, whispers the answers when they are most needed, and carries your individual soul-print. I wish that "find" for everyone on the planet.