I have suffered (as most of us do) in my life from the belief that perfection was real. I think we live in a society that wants to pretend that such an absurd illusion is actually true. And thanks be to God we are continually shown that perfection is, in itself, full of holes and flaws.
What we consider to be a "perfect life" often crumbles, like a cake that has been left out on the counter too long. In fact, the press and reality TV continually tracks down imperfect perfection and exposes it for what it is. In some ways, celebrities (whether of Hollywood or Wall Street) remind us that the things we regard as 'perfect' simply are not. There is tremendous grace in knowing this truth. There is a profound gift their glass house lives offer us.
I have decided to love the holes in my perfectly crafted imperfection.
In the past, those holes spoke to me in a way that kept me small and isolated from others. Their voice sent a message to me that I was somehow not enough. When the voice of perfection became too loud I would attempt to puff myself up hoping to plug those holes from the world.
That only left me feeling more isolated in a darkness that felt smothering. Darkness should be sacred but for me that kind of darkness was frightening. I did not for a minute really believe the “puffed up” version of myself. It was toxic for me and for those I cared for.
So I have learned to unblock the holes and instead become accept me and all my imperfections as a lantern.
The light of wisdom collected from the many years of imperfection actually serves me now…well, at least if I allow it to serve me. It seems that life is always eager and in no hurry to take away the challenges. In fact, the more holes I “unplug” it seems more challenges show up.
That is the beauty of life. It is always asking me who I am and what I want. It is always handing me a paintbrush and saying, “Please, STOP, and paint your own masterpiece from the beautiful pallet called your life.” Life graces me every day in this very simple way.
All those imperfections I avoided; all those holes; they were drilled through the crust of my false ego with the intention to shed light on my own life’s path.
All those human mistakes and the living of my life have now become priceless gifts. I can now see myself a perfectly imperfect lantern full of holes that has been freed of its need to be perfect. Now those holes shed light and help me avoid the dark alley ways I used to unconsciously walk down.
I don’t know what the road ahead holds for me.
All I know is, regardless of the darkness, I now have a light available showing me the way. If we can all unplug the holes in our illusory perfection, just imagine how light the world would become.
As Martin Luther King said, “I have a dream……”