Lanterns and Imperfection

LANTERNS AND IMPERFECTIONS

Every day is full of uncertainty, each of us moving through seemingly repetitive cycles that seem to never end. We all have experienced joy,
sorrow, success, disappointment, fulfillment, emptiness ... a roller coaster of experiences. It is not a perfect act,  this life we live. 

At 65, I have learned it is not the easy, perfect moments that have given me my greatest insight and gifts, it has been and continues to be the imperfections that have had the greatest value.

What we consider to be perfection often crumbles, like a cake that has been left out on the counter too long. There is tremendous grace in knowing this truth. We lock ourselves into a personal prison of our own making as we do everything in our power to avoid the unknown, to fix loss, avoid pain or stuff our suffering. None of us likes uncertainty or pain;  nor do we like a dark room with no idea where the light switch is located. But given a moment of stillness and the opportunity, there is an inner knowing that will guide us through. In that moment of clarity, we discover a vision for ourselves that is precise, true and dependable.

Our imperfections and the "hits" we take in our life punch holes in the lantern of our understanding. But what if, right here, right now, you learned to accept the holes in your personal "lantern" called your life and instead simply accept yourself and all the events that meet you with grace?  What if you decided that life was on your side? Every ending is a new beginning, every beginning leads to an end, and so the circle of life continues. To light a path, a lantern must have holes that free the light within. To be who we were born to be, to love our true nature and live a full life, the holes must exist. Not only must they exist, they do exist. Accepting them feels frightening and deeply vulnerable. But it is only through vulnerability that the light of our brilliance can shine through to guide us to the next moment of our life.

All those holes serve me now…well, at least if I allow them to serve me. There is no doubt that life is an oxymoron. One day it feels eager to bring me hard lessons but in the next moment, it is willing to take away my challenges. We are, each of us, a cocoon and then a butterfly, not once, but over and over again.

That is the beauty of life. There is a deep, mystical energy that, while it continually asks me who I am and what I want, it also asks me to trust that life itself is on my side, even when I am certain it is not ... until I am. The good news is that I always find my way out of the dark. Not because I'm brilliant but because the sun is dependable.

Let's face it. Living life is unpredictable. Better to see ourselves as perfectly imperfect lanterns full of holes than to live in the darkness of a false perception of a conditioned, unrealistic perfectionism. As each of us learns to unplug the holes in our illusory perfection, just imagine how light the world might be.

As Martin Luther King said, “I have a dream……”

Candace George Conradi
Author, Writer, Founder of Writers Inner Circle
www.writersinnercircle.com
www.candaceconradi.com

The Voice of Layers

The Voice of Layers

I always wonder who is thinking for me and why I allow it …who is the puppeteer behind that conversation I just had? 

You may have the same conversations. It’s when I hear myself saying something that contradicts my core but I keep talking anyway. Hindsight always asks me: Was that my mother, father, aunt, uncle, distant 4^th cousin’s voice? Or was it a fear born one day when my heart was breaking? Then I wonder if it is the media advertisement campaigns or early influences from my peers. Sometimes I feel like a hijacked airplane, being taken off course in a direction I never wanted to go.

We all know the voice that creeps up and takes over our brain. It is not the voice of discernment or wisdom that reacts; it is the voice of fear and confusion. It is so easy to default to that state of mind.

I am learning that my core authentic voice cries to be heard in the silent moments I spend with my myself. We all keep silent our private thoughts our of fear, especially when we allow the outer world to give us our voice. We become blindly conditioned, personally contradicted. It takes compassion, patience, and conscious awareness to peel those layers away so we can find what is true and authentic for us personally.

Facing down those embarrassing moments have been a humbling experience, often achingly so.

In the darkness of those embarrassing moments, I often found wisdom. Not the kind of false wisdom that dismisses another person, minimizing my own responsibility in the event. But rather the kind of wisdom that pulls me from sleepwalking and keeps nudges me into awareness so I can dodge future dark alleys. 

Like layers of contact paper piled one upon another, it takes time to peel away that which smothers our authentic Self. I remember hearing a teacher suggest that instead of being against war, to be for peace; instead of warring against drugs, be for freedom that comes from self-care; instead of being at war with our spouse, our neighbor, our family, be compassionate toward their humanness. 

The real truth is that the outside world continually attempts to tell us how to think. I always wonder what might happen if I told the world who I am, rather than being defined by it. Change comes as I give my authentic Self a chance to speak. Perhaps that is the gift that fear and limitations can leave at the doorstep of our hearts and fodder for a changed and better world. 

Each of these gifts is our personal call to liberation. No greater wealth is found than when we discover the freedom that is sparked by a deeper sense of knowing who we really are. I wish everyone the opportunity to open those gifts that are meant specifically for you and you alone.

A choir of authentic voices carries its own melody…I do believe it is possible for us to sing in perfect harmony!