The Voice of Student

God bless our teachers. Many of my very dearest friends are teachers and I might have been a grade school teacher under different circumstances. I respect and admire the many who teach our children. Some of us are eager learners from the beginning. Others, like me, are less than eager in their youth but gain a thirst for knowledge as they grow older. As I look back over my life I realize that we are all lifelong learners...whether we like it or not. The question is: does your voice encourage you to be a lifelong student? Like the "know it all" in the movie Polar Express, sometimes learning is lost to us in our need to impress others with our vast knowledge or experience.

Being a student or someone who learns implies stewardship. It implies a willingness to learn and the humbling awareness that we don’t know everything. We all learn along the way what works for us…but even the model-T would never have become a Jaguar had inventors not assumed there was more to learn. I was a model-T for a long time, limping my way along. I resisted being a steward to learning in many ways. There were times my bravado simply got the best of me. Today, I am like a dry sponge that thirsts to learn. Age has taught me discernment and I know that sometimes advice must be sifted through, like river sand is sifted to find gold. But I do believe everyone has something to teach us if we can only be willing students.

I have discovered over the years that it didn’t matter whether I was in my youthful bravado or in my mature arrogance. When I refuse to listen or learn (regardless of my age) I have finally figured out that I cut off my success at its knees. When I have not been a good student to life, to others, or to those who care for me, I have sometimes chocked my potential to the point that the river of my success flowed (if it flowed at all) through a straw instead of an aqueduct.  Discretion is the better part of valor…that is why it is wise to seek out others who live by your own virtues and goals rather than to learn through the lessons of hard knocks.  By deliberately choosing your mentors (or listening to your boss or superior’s in your job) you actually have a better chance of honing your skills and paving a highway to a better life. You may leave the job in time, but you will never lose the wisdom and lessons. I wasted a lot of time thinking I knew my way…and while I ended up on the right highway in the end … traveling in the direction I wanted to go… I could have saved myself a lot of detours and dark alleys had I been a more willing student along the way!  

The Voice of Not Enough

I practice weekly with a Master Mind partner, something I have been doing for over 20 years. I find it to be valuable and essential for my well-being, my focus. Before we ask for each other’s support, we read from a short list of phrases that helps bring our week’s intention into a laser focus. For years, one of the phrases reminds me that I am “provided for” and always have what I need to accomplish my goals.  I have been reading that phrase for over 20 years and while I understood it intellectually, until this past Friday I didn’t truly understand what it meant. This “ah-ha” helped me grasp a few things that were embarrassingly apparent! First, some things take a long time to register (it’s called evolution); secondly, I have ALWAYS had what I needed to reach my goals, I just didn’t know it (having what you need does not mean there is not challenge or struggle); and third (and most important of all) is that I was fooled by the glitz and glamour of ads, life style, and “wants” to the point that I could not appreciate what I had. That led, unfortunately, to an unconscious whisper that often suggested I did not have enough.

Life is a wonderful teacher. If we are fortunate to live long enough, we discover the things that matter are before us, waiting for our recognition and acknowledgment. I would not trade one dark alley for the light I now occasionally bask in. I just wish my learning curve had been a little less steep; that the precious hours given to me could have been more often appreciated instead of survived. The infectious ads that told me I needed things I really didn’t simply created pressures within me that stole my peace, insisting that I needed more, needed to be more, and needed to do more. The fear generated within my unconscious from these messages became an actual threat to my health.

I understand there is a significant difference between survival needs (food, shelter, and clothing) and the life I now live. But essentially, the human spirit has everything it needs to overcome and provide for itself if we can only traverse the society that defines for us what “not enough” really means. What if for today, today only, you could acknowledge with deep gratitude the blessings you have and how they serve you (even the challenges)? What if you accept unconditionally your life circumstances: the job you go to, the food on your plate, the clothes on your body, the shape you carry physically, the relationships you have…what if for just today those things are enough? What if for today YOU are (with all your mistakes and victories) beautifully enough? Swimming in the pool of acceptance, you will find a deep sense of relief and joy. You will float (as a friend suggested) on water without effort, being held by some miraculous force, with complete freedom and in peace. Maybe this one day can lead to many and if it challenges the economy, oh well. My peace is worth that price.

The Voice of Willing

I am finding that life is an unending series of questions, posed to challenge inquiry into how I live. Sometimes little questions crop up daily (should I eat that extra serving); sometimes questions come to me in little snippets (should I go play today or work; how about  a nap after a long day in front of my computer). Sometimes questions are harder and more taxing, challenging us at our very core (should I quit my job or leave a toxic relationship). I remember reading once of the importance of setting my compass for the day by asking the question:  How do I want to show up in my life today?  I often forget to ask that question until something challenges me. Even in retrospect, I find that I can reset my compass for the remainder of my day with those simple words. I love the questions…but I find that the quality of my life depends not so much on the question but my willingness to hear what the question is really asking me.

I have learned that a question is just a group of words until I consider my willingness to honestly answer it. When I do, and I answer it truthfully and with integrity, my answer usually leads me to a willingness to live my life more fully and in a way that is more aligned with my heart.  Willingness should not (at least in my mind) be considered “wimpy” or invalidate a person. It takes courage to truly change, not shift with the wind. Willingness is a valuable key that should always lead back to more valid questions. The power of “being willing” has unlocked my personal limitations and freed me to experience adventure and opportunity. What I have discovered is that my ability to “be willing” frees me from fears that keep my life small. If I am willing to consider what you have to say, then I will be more connected to you as a person; if I am willing to risk failure, than I might find success; if I am willing to be patient, kind and loving then I will find deep connections with the people I love.

I think the greatest block to our ability to “be willing” is the fear that we might make a mistake, look foolish, or even risk closeness with another human being. Willingness exposes us and softens the sharp edges of our life. Of course, there may be good reason to hold our personal point of view and only you can know what those reasons are. But I have found when I set my personal opinion aside, even if for a moment, amazingly positive things came my way! If I can be willing to hear you, even if we disagree, then I will see you and give you a chance to see me…not for what I do but for who I am, at least in that present moment. Should that happen, maybe I or both of us will have a shift toward the happiness we have longed for. If my willingness finds solution and acceptance and even resolution, well, that’s a revolution I want to be part of!