Saturday, April 23, 2011

The Voice of Darkness

We are past the cusp of Spring but it is the eve of Easter, perhaps the most sacred holiday celebrated in the Christian world. For me, this time of year and Easter specifically, is not only a time of of personal spiritual reflection but it is also an opportunity to reevaluate my the year the has passed. I find myself considering my own deaths and rebirths. I believe that most everyone has a moment in their year when they are drawn into some thought about their life's meaning. For me, that time of year is always Easter; it is deeply sacred and has carried personal significance for me for a long time. It's message of death, rebirth, and hope is an opportunity for me to allow that which is not working in my life to die and give myself over to a personal rebirth. Without fail every year, it seems Life hears the echo of my deeply held desire and dishes up the golden opportunity to do just that...rebirth myself.

I am personally inclined to self-reflection anyway. But more importantly, I realized something this year about the symbol of the Easter experience. It's messages have so many layers, but for me I discovered a new layer. It is the power of the voice of darkness. I realized that all new life begins in the dark and it is within this darkness that growth occurs. Embryos cannot thrive in light, but must be held gently and with love in the womb. The mystery of life is no different. As a woman who has given birth, I realized that the only way to get through the mystery of giving birth was to love being in the darkness of not knowing. I carried my children from conception forward, excited for their arrival but all the while accepting and trusting the process my body was going through. I understood that for the child to develop to a state where it would survive in the world, it needed to stay hidden in the moist cathedral within my body. It should have been evident that birthing a child is no different than birthing my own life.

Wise teachers have taught there is a season for everything under heaven. And it appears to me, upon reflection, that all life begins in mystery. I know, I mean I deeply know, how hard it is to sit without fear in darkness. To await a call back from someone you love when there has been a misunderstanding; to await news from a medical test that will tell you if you are ill; to wait to see if the seed has taken hold, whether it is a child or an idea; to give space and time for an answer you desperately need for reassurance; to find your courage when you are at the end of a relationship or job. There are so many different dark rooms in our lives that demand of us our faith and trust. I have learned that in life the sun always comes up; the stone that closes the tomb will move away; that the blocks that slow me down are meant to add purpose and define my life in a way that a free pass never does. On the Easter Eve...and on this Easter Day...I wish for you a rebirth and a moment of deep reflection that reveals the Light of Life that guides us all.

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