I received the most wonderful gift this week, a picture from my past that I had never seen. It was a photograph of me and my mother, taken right before I left home...in an unscheduled kind of way. My departure was not planned. Choices I made created the space for change. As I looked at the picture, I understood now the consequences of that life changing decision. It changed the course of my life and my mother's dramatically. There was no way I could have known then what I know now. Youthful aspirations and naive hope was the vehicle that drove me to do as I did. I had a map that I thought I knew.
Knowing is a kind of double edged sword. There are things we can know for certain. The sun comes up everyday is one of those kinds of knowing. Then there is the kind of knowing that involves rules. If I drive on the left side of a busy freeway, I will probably die. Then there is the knowing of experience that says if I touch something hot I will get burned. Our life road map, our tribe, is another kind of knowing. This kind of knowing is based upon our family or community. It is subjective and can be very limiting. It might say "this is where you came from and this is how your life will look." For some, the map is clear, set out on a north, south, east, west plain with specific directions. My map looked more like a map of London! I have been told that taxi drivers must take a four year course before being allowed to drive others around the city!
Knowing is a good thing. The knowing of experience and rules keeps us safe from harm and from ...hopefully...repeating stupid mistakes! (Unfortunately for me, I have lived with the needle stuck in the record at times.) But the knowing that keeps us limited or caught in an opinion of our past or ourselves can be harmful to our own personal evolution. I have often asked myself, "Who would I be if I decided to let go of my early childhood or my past?" I have allowed some of my perceptions and thoughts about those things keep me boxed in and trapped in a world I longed to escape from. I have found that the best kind of knowing is to know that you are Divine. Given permission, that Divinity will LIVE you, that Divinity will inspire and drive you. That Divinity is your oyster shell. I am learning to know that Divinity and I like that kind of knowing the best!