Wednesday, May 26, 2010

What you hear is not what is said ...

I am fortunate to have dear friends in my life and we often talk about how sometimes misunderstood we feel when we are having a difficult conversation with someone we love. It goes well beyond the concept of Venus and Mars or even language in general. If we thought in words or alphabet structure then I believe we would all understand each other. But we do not speak in any audible language, if truth were to be confronted and acknowledged. We hear in the hidden recesses of our thoughts; in "past" or "conditioning" or a thousand other experiences we have had in our life. All the clutter of any psychosis we carry around is simply a closet full of outgrown ideas or heartaches that we call our own and it is hard to forfeit that ownership. It is through those experiences that we hear each other. We hear from our fear and from our sometimes broken hearts that never mend.

I love to chef, cook in my kitchen. I follow recipes. When a recipe asks for pepper, I do not take it personally. I add pepper. I watch our pets. When our dogs miss a thrown ball, they do not get mad at me because I threw it wrong, they simply go and get the ball without judgment on themselves or on the thrower of the ball. They have fun! They bring it back to me so I can throw it again!!! But when someone I love expresses a thoughtful or insightful observation, I defend my right to do, say, or think the very thing that has elicited their insight. Misinterpretation or the need to be right has caused many wars, divorces, and the end of dear friendships.

There are some psychologists and philosophers that suggest that we become addicted to trauma and drama and if it is not in our lives we do not feel the life pulsating throughout our body. In yoga today I received a beautiful mantra..."gone...gone...beyond, beyond...awaken." What if the very thing that tips your scale into anger or defensiveness is the very life preserver needed to bring you to a safe harbor in your life? I so want to hear what people I love are saying to me; especially when they are saying it in an honest, kind and loving way. Maybe even when they are hurt and frustrated and the message is has a vinegar flavor!! They are, after all, the only truly clear mirror I have to my soul and my purpose.

No comments: