The Voice of Layers
I always wonder who is thinking for me…who is the puppeteer behind that conversation I just had?
You may have the same conversations. It’s when I hear myself saying something that contradicts my core but I keep talking anyway. Hindsight always asks me: Was that my mother, father, aunt, uncle, distant 4th cousin’s voice? Or was it a fear born one day when my heart was breaking? Then I wonder if it is the media advertisement campaigns or early influences from my peers. Sometimes I feel like a hijacked airplane, being taken off course in a direction I never wanted to go.
We all know the voice that creeps up and takes over our brain. It is not the voice of discernment or wisdom that reacts; it is the voice of fear and confusion. It is so easy to default to that state of mind.
I am learning that my core authentic voice cries to be heard in the silent moments I spend with my thoughts. We all keep those private thoughts quiet (even smothered) when we allow the outer world to give us our voice. We become blindly conditioned, personally contradicted. It takes conscious awareness to peel those layers away so we can find our true authentic voice.
Facing down those embarrassing moments have been a humbling experience, often achingly so.
Once I learned to lick my wounds and soothe my aching soul, somewhere in that darkness I found wisdom. Not the kind of false wisdom that dismisses another person, minimizing my own responsibility in the event. But rather the kind of wisdom that wakes me up and keeps me aware so I dodge that dark alley in the future.
Like layers of contact paper piled one upon another, it takes time to peel away that which smothers our authentic voice. I remember hearing a teacher suggest that instead of being against war, to be for peace; instead of warring against drugs, be for freedom from that comes from self-care; instead of being at war with our spouse, our neighbor, our family, be compassionate toward their humanness.
The real truth is that the outside world only tells us how we are thinking. I am quite certain that the world outside of me can only change as I give my authenticity a chance to speak. Perhaps that is the gift that our fear and limitations leave at the doorstep of our hearts.
Sometimes those gifts collect dust, never being opened. But each gift is our call to personal freedom. No greater wealth is found than when we discover the freedom that is sparked from a deeper sense of knowing. I wish everyone the opportunity to open those gifts that are meant for you and you alone.
I really wish for your authentic voice its own melody…I do believe that we CAN learn to sing in perfect harmony!