Monday, March 21, 2011

The Voice of Piece

Over the years I have spent a lot of time coming to terms with some of the events of my childhood. I don't think I am all that different than many from my generation in that respect. There were so many parts to my early life that formed me. Somewhere along the pathway, I took some of those parts and made them my identity. Some of those parts were like a sore thumb and like a sore thumb, I continually bumped it up against something that reminded me I was broken. On the other hand, some of the parts I called my own were woven from love and compassion and moved me into deeper contemplation about life. What I have come to is that I am not a sum total of the parts but am, if I am willing to emotionally surrender the "whys" of what happened, more. I am assured by great spiritual masters that if I do this I will find a greater part of myself. The Divine part of myself.

The hardest part of all this is owning my own piece in the events of my life. I started my adult life quite early. I was 17 years old when I stepped out into adulthood. I was wholly unskilled for the adult life I faced. As I have matured, I have realized that some of the parts of my life had become a concrete shell I had shaped around myself, mostly my heart. It was all done in the name of protection; but it separated me from my piece. Too ashamed to look at my imperfections, I was like a puzzle that had not been put back together. I know now that I was not only carrying my piece, but the pieces of my family that may have been passed on from generation to generation. Whether it was a thousand years, or only fifty, it didn't matter. That influence was the "piece" that I needed to embrace so I could own my piece in the areas of my life that didn't work.

Having been a parent for 38 years of my 57, I am more conscious now than ever before of how my legacy was formed and how I have passed it on. The one legacy I am unwilling to let go of and feel so blessed to call my own is my deep and ever evolving sense of what love really means. As I stood today, reflecting on the things I would like to have a "do over" on I heard this silent whisper, spoken with great love and compassion:  until you can own your piece, you will never own your Peace. Later, in the inspirational reading I do each day a message from 2500 years ago met my heart. Lao Tzu shared: "To let knowledge produce troubles, and then use knowledge to prepare against them, is like stirring water in hopes of making it clear." It takes new perspective to own my piece so I can own my Peace. Somewhere in that formula I tasted the sweet honey of compassion, and waiting there were my relatives. As I share it with you today, I am also reminded: Just breathe...

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