Thursday, February 11, 2010

When Silence is Good

I have a saying over my computer that says, "A silent voice is sweet to hear." I truly do believe there comes a time when it is important to stand muted, to not defend, to simply allow the other person the floor. I have too often been Clarence Darrow in a dress, defending my right to be, to have done, to have the right or the entitlement. It is a curious and surreal experience to simply stop, shut up, listen and allow.

I discovered this hidden treasure in my silence. In 99% of the cases, truth and resolution rise to the top. Any false truth that I am perhaps telling myself is exposed for the justification that it was based upon. In other words, in my silence I find solace and honesty and even the space to allow the other person their own fears, their own truth, their own assessment or missed assessment without my noisy input. There is something extremely powerful when I sit in silence, especially when the someone I am with is angry, hurt, disappointed, afraid, or simply misinformed.

I don't especially feel good in these clothes. They feel tight and uncomfortable. But when it happens, as it did tonight, I find that while my silence feels like a tight pair of jeans after a full meal, what my silence truly does is  stretch everything out and I am comfortable in my own skin again. Tonight, I have tasted the acceptance of simply what is and I have found some peace in it all.

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